The healing process

I was under the weather this past week. Out of nowhere, something hit me and had me bedridden for a few days. The worst part about it was how these thick clouds of pessimism hovered over me. Every thought I had was covered in gloom and doubt. Late at night, my mind would be awake and busy generating anxiety-inducing thoughts. I felt miserable. It was as though I was going through a delayed time of grievance. I had suffered a significant loss a little while ago. A beloved illusion that kept me going all these years crumbled down like an old structure being demolished. The devastation was severe. Suddenly, my insecurities were exposed, so I immediately covered them up by adopting a new perspective and started plowing away again. Now that I was physically ill and forced to slow down, it seemed like the emotions that were left behind came back to be appropriately acknowledged. I wallowed in anger and sadness for a while, and by the time I had enough, I was well again.

from a neighborhood in downtown Osaka